Well, if hiding my recent hobby of playing-with-fire was sneaky, then hiding the addition of two new members to our household would probably be construed as extra sneaky.

But please believe me – it’s not my fault!

You see, the last couple of months have been the breeding ground for an interesting experiment. One in the study of….sheep. Please let me explain.

Considering we managed to furnish our entire house (which is no small order and includes everything except the clothes and toiletries we owned prior to moving in) for under $250, I think you can say we live a pretty frugal life. (Why would we spend a fortune on stuff? We’ll only move on anyway….)

So when it comes to maintaining the property and keeping the grass low, we are challenged. After both of us spending an entire weekend (plus a can of petrol and other incidentals) using borrowed gear to cut our expansive lawns, we decided there had to be a better way.

Problems with the status quo:

• We don’t own lawn cutting equipment, and are at the mercy of borrowing from neighbours and compensating them with slabs of beer (at $40 a pop).
• We are not pleased at the consumption (and cost) of petrol to operate said machinery.
• If we don’t keep the grass low, snakes are an immediate problem. (And the snakes here aren’t terribly friendly).
• We have way better things to do than spend 25 man hours cutting our grass every few weeks. I mean, seriously.

Our solution? Living Lawn Mowers!

A friend of a friend who works on a sheep farm got wind of our situation, and offered us a couple of sheep (free of charge and delivered to our door, no less. Total cost: a slab of beer). These merino sheep (aged 1 and 2 years old) were on the cull list because their wool wasn’t fine enough, so we have had a chance to lengthen their lives as it were.

It is a symbiotic relationship. The sheep get what they want – all the grass they can eat, a loving environment, and longer lives. We get what we want – a well-manicured lawn without effort or consumption/emissions, and eventually, well….dinner. (Many dinners, in fact).

A friend who was horrified that we might eventually eat our “pets” cautioned us against giving them names. We decided to anyway, but I think you’ll agree that our sheep have very appropriate names:

Lawn & Mower

(Mint & Sauce were a close second, but we decided it was a touch obtuse)!

Knowing that our sheepish companions will eventually end up as food, we were keen not to establish close bonds with them when they first arrived. Any worries in that area quickly became obsolete though, as we learned the true nature of our wooly friends.

All those expressions about sheep? Yeah, they’re kind of true.

Sheep Expressions

Are you feeling “sheepish”?

It’s probably because you’re as shy as our sheep. We’ve yet to get close to them without them leaping madly and running away in terror, only for them to realize minutes later that we were just doing something innocuous like hanging our laundry as they meander back into our section of the yard.

…We’ve had the sheep for well over a month now, and it has taken me this long to get them to pose for the camera – from a distance no less!

“Counting Sheep”?

You imagine sheep jumping over fences. And this they certainly can do. We’ve seen them jump, and quite frankly they could leap over our fences whenever they want to. We’re pleased that they seem happy enough to stick around.

The phrase “counting sheep” was coined in 1854 by Seba Smith, who suffered from insomnia and visualized sheep jumping over a fence to help him fall asleep.

“One Sheep Follows Another”,

“If one sheep leaps over the ditch, all the rest will follow”

There are a number of expressions about sheep being herd (er rather, flock) animals as opposed to individual thinkers. And from my observations, it’s pretty accurate. Our sheep, as lovely as they are, don’t appear to be the smartest or most individualistic critters around.

“A wolf in sheep’s clothing”

There are many expressions and quotes involving the relationship between wolves and sheep (the quintessential predator and prey). Sheep, sadly, are just so easy to pick on. Poor sheep! (smiles)

Sheep Proverbs

“An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep.” (Arab Proverb)

True, I haven’t seen many strong leadership attributes in our sheep. An army, they certainly are not.

“Without a shepherd, sheep are not a flock.” (Russian Proverb)

Does that make us shepherds? Or are our sheep just a motley crew instead of a flock? How many sheep do you need to make a flock, anyway ?

“The sheep has no choice when in the jaws of the wolf.” (Chinese proverb)

True enough. Not many animals have choice when a wolf is tearing them to bits. Who knew?!

Sheep Quotes

“A man when he is making up to anybody can be cordial and gallant and full of little attentions and altogether charming. But when a man is really in love he can’t help looking like a sheep.” – Agatha Christie

True enough: when we make up after a fight, Kelly can get a little, well, sheepish. But he sure as heck doesn’t eat grass and run away from me. For this, I am thankful.

“If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.” – George Washington

“We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.” — George Carlin

Wow. Our backyard is a microcosm of society. Never thought of it that way.

“It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.” — Benito Mussolini

How do you know, Mr. Mussolini? Sheep seem to have a pretty good deal. Lions have to work way harder for their food…

“In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep, one must above all be a sheep oneself.” – Albert Einstein

This from one of history’s greatest thinkers, who apparently has a knack for the obvious. No comment.

“Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

I guess this goes hand-in-hand with the keeping enemies closer than friends adage. Because I find sheep terribly difficult to count…

“To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology” – Mark Twain

Aww….to suggest that sheep are repetitive and boring…whoops – I can’t deny that. They’re not exactly conversationalists; I’ve had birds with way more personality.

“Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.” James Bovard

Hmmm….I wonder who wins?

“Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.” – Dave Barry

“Ideas are easy. It’s the execution of ideas that really separates the sheep from the goats.” – Sue Grafton

Who brought goats into this? And since when are they so proactive?!

“We herd sheep, we drive cattle, we lead people. Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way.” – George Patton

“Where does virgin wool come from? The sheep that runs the fastest.” - Harry F. Banks

Judging by how fast our sheep run, those would be some speedy virgins!

“A bleating sheep loses a bite” - 1599 J. Minsheu

This means opportunities are missed through too much chatter, which is a great quote. The first time I heard one of our sheep bleat, I thought it was something entirely different, the bleat being much lower in tambour than I had imagined it would be.

Maybe, just maybe, our sheep are actually “wolves in sheeps’ clothing”……it could explain their odd bleats…

“New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.” – Barry Humphries

I can’t wait to see New Zealand now. Could make for some interesting conversations…

Tags: sheep